I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize