yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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