You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
