So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
