Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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