Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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