Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
