I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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