yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
