he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
please don't ironically join a cult
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