my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My ATM looks so different sober.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
