Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
