i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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