I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
