very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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