Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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