I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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