id be glad to
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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