i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
