using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
