So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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