hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
