Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
