How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
