i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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