My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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