Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
