(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
