Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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