Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
