Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize