Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
