Having a random hookup so left but love u
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
