Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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