She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
