He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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