i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
