threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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