Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
