I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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