He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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