your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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