I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
