are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
