so explain again why im purple
no
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
