Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
