Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
