I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize