The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
