i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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