I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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