i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
