worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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