need another drink. this is the easiest way
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
