Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
