I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
