PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
