He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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