Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize