Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
