so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
