Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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