At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
