Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Randomize
