Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize